Growing Up
by colorinfestation
Summary: Based on Alex G's new album: Alex G This is the story of their love, and the way the reacted to it. AU. Romance. Friendship. Drama. Clace because y'know, it's Clace. / USERNAME PREVIOUSLY LOVEDANCE02
1. Prologue

**HEY GUYS IT'S A NEW STORY! So I don't really know what is going to happen with updates (if you read my story End Of The Beginning then you know what I mean), but I have the flu right now, so I might as well make the best of it. We had to cancel our vacation to see my dad on Christmas because of disease. Bleh. Anyway, this idea kinda sorta just popped into my head because of one of my best friends, ****LuxEtUmbra**, **decided to start attacking me via text last night about how I need to write more blah blah blah. Thank her. So E, this is basically dedicated to you. Love you, girl!**

**THIS IS A SONG-FIC BASED OF OFF THE ALEX G ALBUM! EACH CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE SHORT BUT IN THE END IT SHOULD BE THE LENGTH OF A ONE-SHOT. THE IDEA OF DOING AN ALBUM SONG-FIC THING FROM RIPPINGBUTTERFLYWINGS. GO READ HER STORY 1989! ALEX G'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL LINK IS IN MY BIO. GO CHECK IT OUT I LOVE HER SO MUCH.**

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**Clary P.O.V.**

I can't remember when I started having these feelings. It could have been way back when I was a little kid, when he'd push me on the swings until I'd fall off, ignorant to his strength, and then come running over to me to help me up. Or, maybe it was in middle school. That was about the time when all of the other girls would start talking about him in the bathroom. They'd always comment on how cute, attractive, and HOT he was.

I didn't see him the way that they did, not until I looked painstakingly hard.

Anyways, it couldn't have been that long ago. I couldn't have had feelings for him when all I cared about was getting Hello Kitty Band-Aids for whenever he'd make me fall off the swings. I was too single-minded back then. My feelings for my best friend, for Jace, most likely surfaced our second year high school, when he got a girlfriend, Aline Penhallow.

Long story short, I hated her and she hated me, but, in front of my best friend we pretended to tolerate each other. For his sake. However, that was when I had to accept that I didn't dislike Aline because because she was a bitch (which, she totally was), but rather because I was jealous. Why did _she_ deserve_ him _when he was _my_ best friend?

And, that had to be the moment when I realized it.

I was in love with Jace.

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**Jace P.O.V.**

In my sophomore year of high school, I got my first girlfriend, Aline. It wasn't that I really liked her. She was hot and was _sometimes_ nice, but... the main reason that I kept her around was because of _her_.

Because of Clary, my best friend, the girl I've been in love with for years and years on end.

I've been immersed in thoughts and dreams about her since we were little kids. Surely no boy could describe anyone but his mother as being beautiful, but, when I'd pushed her on the swings, and the sun would cast its glow and sparkle against the side of her face, I could still remember being in awe at how _beautiful_ she was. So much so that I wouldn't pay much attention to what I was doing and, in the time between one blink and another, she'd be sprawled out across the grass. This, in turn, always resulted in me running to her as fast as my little legs could carry me, fearing that she was hurt somehow, or worse, _dead_. Keep in mind that we were four at the time and my birth parents had just died.

In middle school, all the girls would flock around me, but I didn't care. All that I really cared about was the amazing girl I had the privilege of calling my best friend. She was all that mattered in the world. And that's why I had to distract myself from her with Aline.

I was in love my best friend. There wasn't a doubt in my mind.

I was in love with Clary.

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**Okay lovelies, there you have it. I hope you enjoy it. Most of the story (if not all, other than in the prologue) will be in Clary's P.O.V., just because I know more about girls minds and how they work more so than guys'. I'm a girl, so deal.**

**I GOT A BETA AND IT IS iLOVEMESOMECAPTAINAMERICA SO GO READ HER STORIES RIGHT NOW!**

**I love you all!**

**Jo**

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_feed the review box... it's hungry!_


	2. Butterflies

Chapter One: Butterflies

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**Hey guys! Yeah I'm back... like what?! Hahaha.. I'm going to do my best to get this all up ASAP.**

**By the way, this is in Clary's P.O.V. And I don't think this is M, but it could be if you think like that...? It doesn't seem like it to me.. but we'll see. I understand if you don't want to read that part. You'll understand why later. BTW, the song won't really come into play till the end. **

**I was too lazy to proofread this so deal guys. I'll edit later.**

**The song for the this chapter:**

_**Butterflies- Alex**_** G**

**Disclaimer- I don't own the Mortal Instruments or Butterflies.. Cassie Clare and Alex G do.**

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**Clary P.O.V.**

During senior year of high school, I got a boyfriend. Yeah, so sweet. But, in all honesty, I hated it. Having a boyfriend, I mean. Jordan was a nice guy and all, but, being with him, it just didn't feel... right. It probably didn't help that he was in love with another girl, Maia, and that I was in love with, well..._never mind_.

Sometimes, relationships aren't meant to last, and I see that now. Things between Jordan and me were all right, despite the whole being in love with different people and not having any other relationship to base ours off of, but, he was a pretty good boyfriend. That is, up until the HUGE breakup.

Here's the short version of the story:  
Jordan and I had been together for about three months. We'd been going on dates every week, he'd kiss my cheek, greet me 'hello', wave me 'goodbye'; we had all of the normal aspects of a relationship going and everything in between. Every time I saw him, I would get this nervousness in my stomach, these _butterflies. _Everything seemed perfect. I had an amazing boyfriend who I REALLY liked, and, on top of that, my best friend, Jace.

But after the three months were up, Jordan started seeing Maia _while_ the two of us were still dating. And not just seeing each other, but _seeing each other_. Do you want to know how I found out? _All right_, all right, but only because you insisted.

Well, you see, because it _had been_ his birthday, I'd dragged my naïve little self over to Jordan's house to surprise him while his parents were away on vacation. If his own parents didn't even consider taking their son to Hawaii when they knew his eighteenth birthday would overlap dates, then surely I, as his girlfriend and all, should make it up to him. I had wanted to give him the best birthday gift ever, and that consisted of me telling him "I love you", something that I had been mentally preparing for.

I remember it perfectly:  
It was a Friday. I knocked on the door, and, when he didn't answer, I used the key that was under the door mat. I pushed open the door, only to be met with a bunch of moaning. Naturally, I did the stupid thing and walked towards the noise. Smart, right? Well, in the kitchen I saw the most disturbing thing ever: Maia bent over the counter, and Jordan—and Jordan, uh, well, I'm pretty sure you get the gist.

They probably would've gone at it forever, seeing as it already smelt like sex in the air and noticeable sweat glistened on Jordan's back, and I probably would've let them if it hadn't been for me crashing into the pantry door. Yeah, I know, I'm graceful. Time seemed to stop as they froze and Jordan pulled out of Maia's ass. _My poor virgin eyes. _"Jordan?" My voice had been small and my eyes had started to tear up. "What's going on?"

He'd turned around and his eyes bulged. "Clary, it's not what it looks like—"

To say that had pissed me off would be an understatement. "Oh that's good," I snapped, "because it looks like you're cheating on me with your ex."

Maia had just gasped, too startled probably to say anything. She'd grabbed her clothes and ran to the bathroom, stumbling over her own feet and refusing to meet my venomous glare. _Yeah, you run away, you little hoe._

Jordan had sighed, looking terrified. "Clary, look—"

"No, Jordan, _you_ look. I'm sorry that I interrupted your 'special'time. It's my fault, really, it is, that I wanted to wish my boyfriend a happy birthday," I'd shouted, on the verge of screaming. I'd wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but I knew that wasn't going to do anything. I'd instead opted to use the adrenaline coursing through my body to channel my anger and direct it at him; I'd been aiming to hurt—or possibly kill. "I was just coming over to tell you something, by the way, that _I love you._ But, from the looks of things, your feelings aren't reciprocated. I can't _believe _that I waisted _three months _with you. Screw you, Jordan. Screw you."

Okay, maybe I could have handled that with a little more class, but...oh well.

Jordan had then looked at me with a heartbroken expression on his face, tears clouding his eyes and everything. But I couldn't care less. "Clary, I'm so—"

"You won't finish that sentence," I'd bit out harshly, "if you know what's good for you. You don't deserve to be sorry, because if you truly were then you wouldn't have been _fucking_ Maia. You're such a _motherfucking dickwad."_

_"_Clary, you don't understand."

This time, even though his voice alone had been enough to infuriate me to no end, I didn't have the energy to cut him off. "I love you," he'd said, "but... I have loved Maia longer. I am so, so sorry."

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That's basically when I ran out and the dam broke. As tears streamed down my face, I jumped in my car and drove to Jace's. He was there with open arms and didn't force me to talk about it because I obviously hadn't been ready, but, when I eventually did tell him, well, let's just say that he wasn't happy. And by not happy, I mean he tried to go over to Jordan's house and attack him with a golf club. Don't worry, I didn't let him. But on Monday, Jordan's car was _somehow_ covered in egg yolk.

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After the whole blowout with Jordan, Jace and I got a LOT closer. I'm talking a ton. But I was scared to let anyone in. What if they hurt me as bad as Jordan did? I was wrecked after that.

_I was waiting_  
_On the edge of something wicked_  
_Never thought I'd find a reason_  
_To lower my guard and try_

But, despite my fears, one day I felt that feeling again. It was right after graduation when it hit me. That feeling that I used to have when I was with Jace, that same feeling I'd felt with Jordan. I'd thought that it was gone forever, that the butterflies were dead, but, apparently not.

_In your eyes, something deeper_  
_And you wore me like a fever_  
_And I'm ready to walk the line_

Jace and I had just been sitting on a bench in Central Park, just talking about everything and nothing all at once, when I felt it.

_Talking back and forth_  
_"Hopping" back and forth baby_  
_Trying to let it go_  
_Trying to make it look easy_  
_Now I can't hold back_

The fluttering in my stomach, the beating of a thousand wings. I couldn't understand why it was happening now, but I welcomed the feeling, knowing that Jace was the reason. He'd awakened the butterflies in my stomach when I no longer thought that it wasn't possible.

_The butterflies_  
_You brought them back to life_  
_Now I'm alive inside_  
_You brought them back to life_  
_Tonight the world is on our side_  
_I feel the spark ignite_  
_You brought me back to life_

And that was when I realized what was going on... I was falling for Jace. Hard. But for the real question, now: Would he be there to catch me?

_I think I'm falling for you now_  
_But I'm afraid to let it out_

I was terrified.

_I used to hold it in but you're so worth the risk_

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**Hey lovelies! I seriously hope that you guys like it. I'm actually really nervous about this story. But anyway, I'm pretty excited for you guys to read this, I enjoyed writing this chapter so much. Thank my beta, iLoveMeSomeCaptainAmerica, for this.**

**I love you all!  
Jo**

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_feed the review box... it's hungry!_


	3. Bones

Chapter Two: Bones

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**Hey guys, yep I'm back! Here is chapter two of Growing Up!**

**The song for the this chapter:**

**_Bones- Alex_**** G**

**Disclaimer- I don't own the Mortal Instruments or Bones.. Cassie Clare and Alex G do.**

**Sorry it took so long guys!  
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**Clary P.O.V.**

It wasn't really something that I had been expecting. When I was finally able to admit to myself that _I was in love with Jace_, you'd think that it'd have be like waking up, and entering this new life of happiness and beauty. At least, that's what all the books, movies, and TV shows make you think. But in actuality, it was the complete opposite. Realizing you're in love is a terrifying moment. It's like one of those teacup rides that they have in Disney. It starts off all right but then you're suddenly spinning non-stop and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it until the ride comes to a halt. That is exactly what I think off when I hear the simple word love.

You see, because I have the gracefulness of a gazelle, and because my newfound feelings hit me so suddenly, I jumped off my shared bench with Jace, claiming that I had to pee. This resulted in me running to the bathroom and tripping over a rock.

Jace, of course, noticed, whether it was from the ridiculously loud noise I'd made on impact, or just the echo that followed. And then, the exact opposite of what I needed happened: Jace ran over to me, just as he had when we were kids and I fell off the swing, and scooped me up into his arms. As he looked me over to make sure I bore no bruises, cuts, or broken bones, he jogged over to the car. His concern made my heart do a little jump, along with the rest of my body. Jace must have noticed, since that was when he asked if I was alright or not.

Pathetically I'd answered, "I'm fine, Jace. Don't worry about me, seriously. It was just...um, a shiver." He nodded at that, still looking skeptical, and caused me to do the stupidest thing _ever_: take hold of his hand and _squeeze_ it.

I may never have that courage again, but I did then, and that's all that mattered. And more amazing was the thing that happened afterward: he, Jace, squeezed my hand back. Then kissed the top of my head. My heart did another leap, though my body had learned its lesson and stayed still. By this time we had reached the car, and my best friend had somehow opened the passenger door to his blue Chevy Silverado with me still in hand, and gently put me down. "Are you sure you're okay? You're warm. I think you might have a fever," he'd asked.

I nodded quickly, searching for something to cover up my shivering. "Yeah, possibly. Can you take me home?"

He gave a sympathetic smile. "Sure."

We drove home in a silence. It wasn't comfortable or uncomfortable; just peaceful, which I was grateful for. I needed all the time I could get to think.

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Once we arrive at my house, Jace follows me up to the door. When I place my hand on the doorknob, he grabs me wrist. "Clare," he starts, with a worried look on his beautiful face, "are you sure that you're one hundred percent okay?"

Almost immediately I nod in the affirmative. "Yeah, Jace. I am 'one hundred percent okay.' Please don't worry abo-"

"Clarissa Fray, it is my _job _to worry about you."

I smile, and tell him that had I realized it was, to which he responds with a deep laugh.

When Jace leaves I rush up to my room and fall on my bed. I was starting to get a headache, but at that moment, I really needed to do something. I screamed, a loud, piercing cry in the night (it was around 7 p.m.by now).

And the reason I did that… well, I'm not sure I can explain it. But there sure is a reason as to why it happened. I… felt this- this emotion in my mind. In my soul and it caused my heart to pound and to feel like my chest was going to split open and do a little dance.

And with that very thought, I fell asleep.

_I was in love with Jace._

_I was in love with _Jace.

I _was in _love _with _Jace.

.

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I hated it.

.

.

.

No, wait. I loved it.

.

.

.

The same I did Jace.

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.

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I...Love...Jace...

A truly terrifyingly beautiful thought.

WOW.

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**Well there is that. Oh god I'm an awful person. I disappear for forever after I said that I would update soon. LOL. **

**I'm also REEEALLLY sorry that it's so short. Writers block sucks so wupsies. **

**I would say see you soon, but who actually knows at this point. I said that last time. Wups. **

**I really need to go now, mainly because I recently started watching One Tree Hill on Netflix and Lucas (oh God my favorite thing ever) is hurt. (I'm on season 1.) No spoilers from me but if anyone knows what I'm talking about then PM and we can fangirl together.**


	4. LittleMissPerfect

**Hey guys! Yes, I'm back with a new chapter and that is making me reaallly happy right about now and I have no idea why. Just kidding, it's because I FREAKING LOVE YOU ****GUYS. 5 reviews since the last chapter? Holy shiiittt y'all are fabulous. But these were mostly from _IridescentLight,_ who is now my Internet bestfriend. Just saying.**

**BY THE WAY THERE MAY POSSIBLY BE... nevermind.**

**Ok on with the story:**

**The song for the this chapter:**

**_#LittleMissPerfect- Alex_**** G**

**Disclaimer- I don't own the Mortal Instruments or ****_#LittleMissPerfect_****.. Cassie Clare and Alex G do.**

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_**Three months later.**_

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I hate girlfriends. Seriously, if it were possible I would shove all girlfriends into a bottomless pit full of the fires of Hell then I would do it.

Well, okay, that might be a little bit harsh.

I would only do _that _to Kaelie. And a thousand times over.

So we're probably to the point where you're asking why I would do these murderous things, and who the hell is Kaelie. Well I'm going to tell you, so even if you didn't want to know, now you're going to. Deal.  
_Kaelie_, or as I like to call her, _Satan's evil twin_, is Jace's girlfriend. I know, contain your shock. Jace has a girlfriend, which hasn't happened since sophomore year, _Aline. _Ugh, I hated that bitch. She was a slut and used Jace as a trophy, parading him all over the school. And let me tell you, Kaelie's no better, if not worse.

But the worst part is that Jace just doesn't realize it, as far as I can tell.

He also doesn't realize that I'm head over heels in love with him.

So, if you're wondering, yes, I have come to terms with my loving Jace. I've kinda embraced it actually. Once the initial shock was over, and I was somewhat capable of thinking straight, I decided to dive head first into the unknown. And for a little bit, I thought that Jace may have been there to catch me when I fell. He wasn't.

Well, that's not giving him enough credit. He was there for about a week, with what I thought was romancing me, and flirting with me, but then he left. For _Kaelie_. Who is _Aline's _best friend. Coincidence? I think not. The way that he was there for me is kind of like a trampoline. It catches you for the first time you fall, and a little after, but then you are on your own.

The worst part is, I can remember the ordeal clearly:

_One day, Jace and I went to this cute little diner that we loved to go to, _Taki's_. We would go there at least once a week, usually more. And on this particular day, we were laughing our asses off, and generally loving having each others presence. It had been a great day, and I'm not going to lie: I thought Jace might mirror my feelings. That is, until, the slu- I mean Kaelie was brought up during our conversation._

_"So, Clare," he began with a nervous look on his face. It seemed like he was scared I would slap him if he finished his thought. "I need to tell you something."_

_Attempting to raise my eyebrow, I told him to continue with his declaration. "Clary, I have a date."_

_Yes, something as simple as that made me feel as if I was slapped in the face. "What? With who? Not that it's a problem, I'm happy for you really. Date who you wan-"_

_"JACEY! IT'S _ME_! YOUR _GIRLFRIEND_!" Now, I not only felt like I was slapped in the face, but also punched in the gut. With a knife. _She_ was standing right in the door to the diner, attracting the pissed off looks of waitresses and customers._

_"Jace, you're dating _that_? And_ why_ is it _here_?_"_ Jace was looking around nervously as if he was unsure as of what is going on, meanwhile I was about to blow my shit. He brought not only his girlfriend, but Kaelie, to _our diner._ This was strictly not okay. At all. And while I was trying to wrap my mind the crap that was going to down, Kaelie pranced over to our table in her sky-high heels. She then proceeds to sit her fake ass on Jace's lap. _Thank God Jace looks uncomfortable_, I thought._

_"Yeah, Clare, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm going to try dating. Kaelie." Squealing, Kaelie starts to try and jump up and down and if I didn't know better, it would look as if she was giving him a lap dance.  
That's also when a mother dragged her to children out of the diner.  
"Jacey, I love you!" I was going to gag and Jace was as red as a tomato._

_"Okay, Jace," I speak, "I'll leave you to you ho- I mean girlfriend." Despite the pleas that I heard from Jace and to Kaelie's joy, I strutted out of Taki's._

_How dare I love Jace._

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So yeah, that happened.

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**THAT IS THE END OF CHAPTER 3 PART ONE! EMPHASIS ON PART ONE. _ONE_. _ONE._ **

**Sorry it's late. I'm busy but I felt pressured to get it up. End of story. **

**Unbeta'd. Will update with beta'd one ASAP.**

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_feed the review box... it's hungry!_


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